Do you ever get the feeling that you are following someone else’s advice more than your own?
That you are following a path that isn’t quite yours?
That the beliefs you live by are not your truth?
Well, if you do, then you’re not alone! It is something that most of us can relate to in one way or another. And it seems that the more you do follow your own path and live by your own truths, the more advice you will get from people telling you that they have the answers you need and that their way is the only way…
It’s sorta counter-intuitive to me because as we learn to listen to ourselves more it seems reasonable that the outside world will back off, but it doesn’t. The paths and endless options open to us actually increase. It’s like we start with tunnel vision and as we become more consciously aware of who we really are, our field of view gradually increases until we can almost see a full 360°, and if you’re not careful, you can let all of those opinions and views knock you off course and leave you spinning out of control.
So, how do you follow your own path when so many conflicting outside voices are telling you what you ‘should’ be doing?
Why not try the method that I use to make sure I gain the most out of any advice whilst not feeling that I have to take it all onboard… It’s based on 3 T’s: Thanks, Time and Trust.
Whenever I receive any advice – whether it’s solicited or not – I always make sure I say thank you; thank you to the person giving it and thank you to the universe for bringing that person to me. Because even if I don’t end up taking their advice, knowing what I don’t want is just as important as knowing what I do!
It may seem daft, but when you are thankful or grateful for everything that comes into your life it really does make a difference. Gratitude really does improve your attitude! But being thankful does not automatically mean that you are going to take what they say on board and follow them blindly. It simply means that you have been given a chance to learn, change or improve what you have – if it resonates with you.
When you receive any advice it is critical that you give yourself time to process it. Create an ‘advice habit’ that allows you to filter any advice through your own set of standard tests. My tests include meditation, consulting oracle cards or my spirit guides, tuning in to my chakras and running the advice through my CDFs (core desired feelings). This process doesn’t have to take long – sometimes only a few minutes – but it is a necessary step to make sure that my decision comes from within.
If you are put on the spot and asked to make an instant decision about something, you are more likely to say yes just so you don’t feel like you are missing out or hurting someone’s feelings. I still sometimes get caught out by this one when my own boundaries are not functioning as well as they could and I find myself saying yes to something that really doesn’t vibe with me. But in those situations I am now happy to change my mind and have the confidence to let that person know “I’m out”. This can also take some practice, but you need to honour your own feelings and not simply continue with a course of action just to please someone else.
This is often the most difficult part! You need to learn to trust that whatever decision you make about the advice you receive is right FOR YOU. It may only be right for you at the precise moment that you make the decision, but you have to trust your gut. Be responsible for your own life and take the risk to be Yourself . Dare to believe in yourself and your own inner wisdom to know what is right for you. Dare to break new ground and follow your own path. And remember…
There are hundreds of paths up the mountain,
all leading in the same direction,
so it doesn’t matter which path you take.
The only one wasting time is the one
who runs around and around the mountain,
telling everyone that his or her path is wrong.
Advice is usually offered in a well-meaning way by people who want to share their own particular way of thinking or overcoming obstacles so that you can learn from their successes and mistakes. But at the end of the day, it is your life and only you truly know what path you are travelling and what journey you are taking. Don’t give the power to decide your fate to anyone else…
My super power is helping people follow their own path. So if you need help make sure you get in touch or check out my Desire Map page for more details. And if my advice doesn’t resonate with you that’s OK too 🙂