I’ve found out this week that I am mainly an auditory learner (eh, who knew!) and I guess I do tend to listen closely not only to what people say, but what they don’t say as well. I listen to the type of language they use and am often intrigued when someone says that they can’t afford something but then tells me that they are spending a lot of money in another area of their life.
Here’s an actual example:
Them: “I really can’t afford to buy you a Christmas present this year.”
Me: “That’s OK, I understand.”
Them: “But I can’t wait for my 3 week trip to Peru next month.”
Probably not the exact words, but yes, that has actually happened!
The reason it riles me so much is that they COULD afford to buy a present if it was something important to them, but they VALUE their foreign holidays more. AND THAT’S OK! It would just be nice if we could get real and be honest instead of saying we can’t afford something when that’s not actually what we mean.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don’t mind and the people that mind don’t matter.
Isn’t that so true! So, a better way of putting it may have been:
“I’ve decided to put all of my cash into my trip to Peru, so I hope you don’t mind that I’m not buying you a Christmas present this year? I don’t expect one in return.”
It’s honest, its real and it lets me know where their VALUE lies. AUTHENTICITY is what we need more of!
What do you say?
Do you say you can’t afford something when it’s actually that you don’t value the item, person or experience enough to invest in it? Have you ever thought about what your words actually mean?
– OR –
Do you say that you would rather invest in something else that is of more value to you?
If become aware of your own patterns, you can catch yourself before you say something and switch it to the positive and honest response. Your answers will become less victimised and more empowered, so:
“I can’t afford to go out this weekend.” becomes “I’d love to come out but my new sofa is top of my list – want to come over instead.”
“That course is way too expensive for me to afford.” becomes “when I’ve finished paying off my loan, I’d love to do that course.”
Why is it important?
Well, it all comes back to ‘Like Attracts Like’ and the ‘Law of Attraction’ that I bang on about week after week. Saying that you can’t afford something (when you could if you valued it, not when you actually can’t afford it) sends a message of lack out to the Universe. It attracts more of the same and you can end up missing more and more great opportunities because you convince yourself that you can’t afford them.
Instead of thinking this way, if you are honest with yourself and realise that whatever it ‘A’ is simply is not as important to you at the moment as ‘B’, you are sending out positive vibes that you would still like to do ‘A’ at some point in the future. And if you don’t want to do ‘A’ in the first place, then at least by being honest with others about that will mean they won’t keep asking you when it’s clearly not your thing!
We live in a consumer society where we want everything NOW and forget that prioritising what we want is actually not a bad thing. Just look at how many of those spontaneous ‘must have’ purchases end up never being used! Waiting is OK, especially if you set your intention on getting what you really value and let the Universe know by visualising it, putting it on your pinterest board or writing a wish list.
Price versus Value
I was reminded of this on another of my Colour Mapping days this week when my lovely host, Liz, and I were talking about the cost of our respective workshops. As a solopreneur it is often difficult to stick to your guns when someone questions your pricing and says you are ‘too expensive’. But remember that it is not the price that is important…
“Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.” ~ Warren Buffett
I recently paid $2,000 for an online business course. Yes, $2,000. That was an ENORMOUS commitment for me, but I knew that the value that I would get from the course would pay for my investment over and over again – and the associated bonuses I received almost covered the cost without doing anything at all. For some people, this would seem ludicrous, but they may then spend the same money if not more on a designer label accessory (like the 12 year old on TV yesterday who had a £1,200 Gucci bag – I kid you not).
It is so important in this life to invest in what you value the most. It will probably be different to just about everyone you know, but if you put your money, time and effort into the things that you value then you will truly create a life that you love.
Can you change your language and your energy when it comes to what you value? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
There’s a Crystal for that…
Smoky Quartz is a great crystal to have around when being honest with yourself and when being upfront with others and telling it like it is. Yes, your opinion is subjective, but so is everyone else’s! Your truth has a right to be heard. Hold a piece of Smoky Quartz in your hand or carry some in your pocket when you think you may be challenged about your decisions.